Where a Man Becomes a Comedian 

Dogs are boys and cats are girls. That’s what five-year-olds think. Then again, five-year-olds are stupid.

“Call me when you’re six, I’ll show you a solid goal line package.” – Jerry Sandusky.

If anything, cats are men with bold dreams and powerful claws. It is the opinion of several hoarders that the world’s most adorable dog is still uglier than two dozen of their emaciated, dried up cats. I tend to agree; Hoarders are crazy.

What you might not know is hoarders have the exact opposite amount of crazy as homeless people. Their lives are paralleled by the fact that both live in immeasurable heaps of garbage. You might say that hoarders are indoor bums. Homeless people can be compared to a lot of other things that are not human. It’s a lot of fun. Let’s try it again! Here, then, are 10 reasons cats are like homeless people:

10.) They sh*t next to boxes of sand!

9.) You don’t have to feed them every day.

8.) They always want something to drink in the most desperate way possible.

7.) They beg and beg and beg and when they finally get what they want they turn their backs on you.

6.) They frolic in trash and sleep in boxes.

5.) If they don’t get shots, they’re susceptible to rabies.

4.) Whiskers!

3.) They are capable of sitting lifelessly in one sunny spot for hours on end.

2.) They smell like they bathed with their tongues.

~and, finally~

1.) If you break down and let one into your house, it will mark it’s territory and stay forever.